Hello there whoever reads my blog! lol Im not really sure if anyone reads it but its makes me feel better when I write down my thoughts and all. So here is goes!
Today I'm 37 weeks pregnant... and man oh man is my sweet Annaliese ready to come out.. And mommy is ready too .. I have been getting so miserable lately. She feels like she has no room left and is trying to push herself out. Thats really the only way I can describe it. I feel HUGE and my feet have been sweeling lately. And bending over is about to not exsist. lol But Trying to "take it easy" with a 17 month old at home , that Im home with all day long by myself, is not the easiest thing in the world... But Im trying! Only 2 more weeks til I have my c-section. I'm praying when I go to the doctor friday for my weekly check up that I have dialated some and maybe she will say we can go ahead and take her sooner! PLEASE GOD Im so Ready!
I LOVE being Pregnant,, but these last couple weeks are so hard. I dont remember it being this hard with Avery but i do remember sweeling and my HUGE belly... But maybe its harder to cause Im chasing Avery around.
C-Section... is sceduled for Oct 11th.. I have to be there at 5:15am and they will start surgery at 7:15.. Im nervous Im not gonna lie.. Its Major surgery. The 1st c-section I really didnt have time to think about what was about to happen because it was all so sudden and it was an emergency c-section because my blood pressure had dropped and was continueing to drop and Averys heart beat was dropping and she was stuck in the birth cancal with me only dialated 3 cm in 11 hours or so... But we were in and out and I have a little bitty scar to show for it. But being allergic to the medicine they gave me after was not fun at all. I hope that nothing goes wrong this time because I had alot of pain before and after surgery with the nurses putting monitors and epidurial in me wrong and having to re-do them .. to me being allergic to the meds after! UGH! not fun ,,, but all worth it for my sweet girl. Just nervous about how everything will be this time. Praying that everything will go more smoother and me not be in so much pain!
Well I had 2 baby showers.. a friends and a family shower. Heather Camp & Skyla Tanner my 2 bffs threw my friends shower! Which turned out so cute! But many "friends" didnt show up! Im very thankful to the ones that did! But I guess it just hurts my feelings when people dont come to special things that I have .. but i go out of my way to come to things that they have. But It seems like its just not a big deal in their minds, or something. Im beginning to finally get after 25 years that friends come and go and only a couple will stick around and be there for you. Its sad because I have had some I thought were great friendships over the years and its like now they have nothing to do with me. Even when i try to get in touch with them and they never respond back. Guess I dont mean anything to them anymore! Very sad , but I guess true!
My family shower went ok too.. Not many showed up to that one either but I'm so thankful for my wonderful mother, she threw the shower for me and made it special for me... I really dont know where I would be without her. She has truely became one of my best friends and I love it! I can talk to her about anything and she is always there for me and tells me things that i might not want to hear but need to hear, always loves me, always supports me! I love her so much. I hope me and my girls will always have a good bond!
We are struggling with finding a church home! Its something really important to us. I pray everyday that God leads us where he wants us ,where he can use us, where we will have a genuine loving caring church family. I want a church family that will be there for my family, love my family, want to do things with my family, and actually care for my family! Just as a family---extended family should! I feel I give to much or care to much for people and in return I dont get the same care back.. Its always been like this my entire life. "Treat others like you want to be treated" , well I do and it seems like Im always the one getting walked all over or ignored or feeling like my stuff isnt as important as others! Something I have really been praying about! I dont want to fall out of the will of God for us! I want all of us to be walking in it.. and where he wants us to walk. I want things not to get to me as bad and then I dwell on them.. which is not good! I want to be a happier person and not care so much about others and things that you cant fix. I just need prayer... if you are reading this and are a christian ,... please help pray for me and all the things I'm going through ! I have to become a stronger person and christian!
Im closing I love my hubby and girls so much! My husband is the best man that I know ! Even with being at school all day and coming home and doing homework til the wee hours of the night he still makes me feel special, loved, and cared for. He helps me out around the house and with Avery when I know he really doesnt have time because of his schooling! It means so much to me and God truely knew we were ment to be and led him straight to me! I love him so much! Only this year and one more year left and he will be graduating and out of school! YAY! That will be one Happy Day!!!
Until next time...
Stay True to your Heart and Always follow your Dreams!!!
God Bless!
Heather =]
